Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
