Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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