party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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