I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
