Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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