based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
