We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Still dying that you shit outside
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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