I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
