It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
