You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
