Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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