oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
