but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
