He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
