i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Randomize
