just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The uberlube is also flammable
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
