Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
