it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
