we have officially lost it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
