i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
