this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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