I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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