Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
