I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
