She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
