never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
