I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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