Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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