Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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