I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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