how can u be prego again
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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