Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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