he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
