yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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