Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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