I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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