I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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