I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
