Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
