All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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