in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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