Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
