you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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