In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
