covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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