Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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