My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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