he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
