I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
