I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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